There is little precedent for fat androgyny. Generally our androgynous icons are svelte and lacking in secondary sex characteristics. David Bowie, Tilda Swinton, Katherine Hepburn; these small-bodied, predominately white figures of androgyny have created an aesthetic with little room for deviation. This means that for those of us with bodies that do not conform to traditional standards of androgyny, we are often misread and misunderstood, even in queer spaces.
Fat Queer Tells All: On Fatness and Gender Flatness - By Allie Shyer (via weirdoqueer)
This is probably one of the main reasons I don’t bother about pronouns. I DON’T care about pronouns very much, but I know that there is very little way I’m going to ever be read as anything but female — even with short hair, people rarely ever hesitate over that — and honestly it would make me cringe a lot more to have someone going “sh—I mean, they” every time they talked about me than to say “she” and be wrong.
Which doesn’t mean anything about anyone else’s decisions, obviously.
It also just makes me hate everything because so many of my friends tie their gender and their whole body concept into some imaginary ideal of being a person made of hairless planes and angles and pale skin and eyeliner and it makes already-shitty experience of dysphoria so much worse to have that ideal out there.
I’m lucky not to have too much dysphoria. I wear mostly what I want to (on a budget, granted, but). I have bad days, but mostly I really like my body, and the things I ache for are haircuts, or body art. I don’t think I should HAVE to look sexless, to get recognized as agender, yet I also feel like a fake because I know everyone expects me to. But it’s ridiculous. It’s irrelevant. If someone with their boobs and hips stretching out their t-shirt says “hey, I’m a dude, the pronoun is ‘he’” then fucking do it. IT SHOULDN’T MATTER.
And I mean, I’m privileged as far as this whole thing goes. I’m chubby, and hip-py but if I wanted to bind it would be possible for me, I can find menswear should I want it. There are lots of people who can’t practically do those things. And THEIR gender/lack thereof shouldn’t be disrespected either.