lightbeergenderqueer:

I’m tired of the only standards of androgyny being thinness and masculinity (and, of course, whiteness).  I’m genderqueer.  I’m still trying to find which label best describes my identity, be it agender, neutrois, androgyne, or some other term.  Regardless, androgyny is my preferred presentation.  But everything I see and hear tells me that to be androgynous one must be thin, and one must be masculine.  Can’t I be a chubby androgyne?  Can’t androgyny be about me learning to love my body, even with its curves?  Can’t my thighs and stomach and ass be androgynous?  I’m not sure there has been an aspect of my transitional journey that has caused me more emotional and physical distress than my desire to squeeze myself into mainstream, skinny, masculine androgyny.  It’s not me.  It never will be.  Do I want to be healthy and exercise more?  Of course.  Do I necessarily want to lose weight?  At this point, I don’t think so.  I’ve come so far in the last six months.  I’ve gone from grabbing my stomach and crying at the mirror to really, truly and sincerely working on loving every part of myself.  It’s hard, and I think it will continue to be hard.  But I would rather wake up one day and love what I see in the mirror than agonize over the fact that I will never look like Andrej Pejic.  

Today, I pledge to love myself, pound for pound and inch for inch.  I pledge to smash my bathroom scale.  I pledge to say “fuck you” to fatphobic, femmephobic, white-centric standards of angrogyny.

Fuck yeah chubby androgynes <3

*** I realize that I obviously hold a massive amount of privilege in all of these contexts.  I am not thin by any standard, but I hold a lot of size privilege, and do not face systematic oppression based on my size at this point in my life.  If I have overstepped in this post, I urge readers to call me out. ***

This was something that was bothering me a lot today (both in the context of other people worrying about it, and my past worries about it - I go between absolutely loving myself and wishing I could look like Chris Corner or something), and I just wanted to repost this because it’s just what I was thinking about.

Fuck sizism. Fuck stereotypes. My curves don’t make me femme, my breasts don’t mean I’m a girl (nor do my clothes choices), my stomach doesn’t make me ugly, and I don’t have to look like a rock star or a model to be androgynous. And neither do you (any of you). 

I haven’t weighed myself (except at the doctor) in three years and I feel great about it. As long as my heart keeps functioning and my hormones are okay, there’s nothing I feel that I should change. Sometimes I want to get more exercise. If I do that, that would be fine too. But I don’t need to weigh myself to know if that’s working. And I’m not saying that’s right for everyone. Sometimes you’re the kind of person who likes to know those things, and it’s not triggering or unhealthy. But it’s not NECESSARY and it’s funny how many people that baffles (when I tell people at work that I don’t diet and don’t weigh myself they look at me like I have three heads).

I guess it’s all about the cognitive dissonance. I am a person who has FOUGHT to like myself, who has WORKED HARD to accept myself: belly, cellulite, underarm hair because if I shave I get cysts that suck, this is who I am and I am worthy. So why should I think that I should look like some fictional idol in order to be hot, or cosplay, or be worthy of the title agender or be in pictures or WHATEVER? Those days are fewer now, but they are so common in my friends that I think they need to be addressed anyway.

In response to the OP: I think size privilege has layers, too. Someone who’s a size 6 will have more privilege than a size 12, who has more privilege than a size 20 and on to a 32 and so on. And the judgements are different, as well, at every stage, internally and externally. So it’s legit to feel the way you feel.

(via thatqueerblog-deactivated201211)