Hey, American uterus owners: want to be completely put off by the idea of ever procreating? Then read this expose in the NY Post about how many women have gotten screwed by our country’s Stone Age maternity leave policies.
In Canada, you get 50 weeks of paid maternity leave. In England, you get 20 weeks paid. In Mexico, 12 paid. As a matter of fact, 178 countries around the world mandate paid leave for creating a totally new human. In America? Twelve weeks, unpaid, and only if you’ve worked for the company for at least a year, and only if your company has more than 50 employees. And they *technically* have to give you your job back, but as this article proves, your employer can probably find a way around that.
So hey, pro-lifers: where are your voices on this? Where are your rallies and signs to support new moms, instead of expecting ones? Where is there a single pro-life legislator fighting to make it easier to have a baby and keep your job? Where are the “family values” politicians when it comes to actually having a child and raising it?
Going through this right now. Why can’t I have a baby AND a job?
Sorry. This pro-lifer is too busy caring about the murder of babies to spend time getting you free money for not working. Its funny how the same people who grouse about men making more or getting promoted sooner have no issues with giving a woman a very long, extended paid vacation after birth but you don’t hear them campaigning for the fathers to have those same benefits.
Hey guys, check it out: pro-lifers want to force you to have a baby, but begrudge you an “extended paid vacation” and “free money for not working” to take care of it.
Like, this is so fucking ridiculous I cannot even. Babies are being murdered and daddies aren’t getting paid time off, you guys, so mothers shouldn’t get a free vacation!!!11
PRO-LIFERS DO NOT GIVE A SHIT ABOUT YOU. THEY ONLY CARE THAT YOU ARE FORCED TO CARRY A FETUS TO TERM. After you leave the hospital, they don’t give two shits about the quality of your life OR the baby’s. I hope everyone realizes that by now.
Hey, pro-birth person. Because that’s what you all do - get that baby born somehow, someway, no matter if you have to use coercion and misinformation, no matter if you’re treating the woman like a uterus and not a real, full person. And when that baby is born and the mom is poor and needs help (which is why she came to you in the first place), TOO FREAKING BAD. “We don’t help with that!” You find out the help they promised you is gone with the wind, and then they paint you as evil because *gasp*! SHE USES WELFARE. Or, they promise you an open adoption, and the MINUTE your week where they let you change your mind is over, a steel wall just slams down.
Been there, honey, done that, on the “pregnancy crisis centers”. And seen it and had to put a friend back together on the adoption thing.
I think you don’t understand a damn thing about why we have maternity leave and why it’s necessary. For starters, the MINIMUM of time that it takes the female body to minimally heal after giving “normal” birth is six weeks. Even then, you’re not sleeping, in pain, are a liability on the road, and you and your baby are JUST starting to figure out “this parent stuff”.
If you went through a c-section, which people seem to like to ignore is major abdominal surgery, you need even MORE time to heal.
Then there’s breastfeeding. You get to feed your child in the way you want, but after 6 weeks? HA. I don’t think so. Companies HATE that and will use the letter of the law to make it impossible for you to either run home/to daycare and feed the baby. This forces you to pump, which is even harder, because your 6 week old baby is now totally confused between where you are and what the bottle is. And don’t even try to work out a good pumping spot with your boss, because you WILL end up doing it in a bathroom stall or, at best, in your car with a blanket draped over you, while the people who go for smoke breaks every hour sit there and yell about “not fair”. So when you put your baby on formula, then you get to be the La Leche League’s supervillain.
Been there, done that too.
Then… did I mention the highway robbery that is childcare? We are so profoundly screwed up that working at Target for $7 an hour (after the actual corporation you worked for fires you for pumping and you can’t get anything else) means to the government that you are MAKING TOO MUCH and therefore do not require any assistance. You people think that every welfare recipient is sitting there with YOUR money, laughing about it while they take a bath of welfare checks and then go on vacation to Cancun. THIS IS NOT THE REALITY. The reality is that getting the help you need to feed you and your baby is harder to get then getting Romney to admit to all the times he’s lied.
Also, been there, done that.
And you feel terrible. You’re not only fully healed after only six weeks, but you’re still at the mercy of your hormones. Dropping your baby off at a daycare when they’re all of 6 weeks old is a terrible rip in your relationship for BOTH of you. You feel like you’re the worst parent in the world. The first time I dropped my daughter off, it looked nice and clean, but I saw a crawling baby put a worm that had managed to find its way in without notice in her mouth. And I’m talking about a place that was supposed to be “the best”, the place that I scraped every penny and lived on Ramen to get her in to. If I’d called in and said I was going to be late on my first day, they’d have fired me then. So I spent the whole way to work sobbing, and got there trying to look like I hadn’t.
So, why should we get with the rest of the world in this? Happier, healthier families. A time to heal. Time to figure you and your baby out, no matter if it’s a biological or adoptive situation. Less people driving around dead tired, being dangerous to those around them. Less moms feeling torn apart and convinced that they’re the worst mothers in the world because they had to put their tiny, helpless baby into the hands of people they don’t know and gamble that everything is okay. Less women who are lied to and then dropped by “crisis centers”. Dads getting to stay home for a bit too, to help out with everything. They deserve to get time with their babies just as much as women do.
Listen up, idiot: IT IS NOT A VACATION. Not in any way, shape or form. Those measly 6 weeks are you, in pain, trying to communicate with and navigate a relationship with a totally new human being who is dependent on you in every way, but who does everything either the very opposite of what you do or gets sick at the worst time. You spend those weeks covered in things you never thought you’d be, delirious from lack of sleep, often with nobody to help you, unable to clean the house like you did before, unable to take decent, daily showers no matter how you rig it, having to take 5-minute naps when the baby decides to nap, having to learn to shovel food in FAST when you’re hungry because that’s about the time the baby gets cranky, and the cherry on top of this shit cake? When you go back to work still raw from all of this and find out that you’ve either been fired (employers HATE moms; I’ve heard one gripe about “breeders”) or you are forced to take a lesser position. And THAT’S if your company fits all the rules of FMLA.
Don’t. You. DARE. Say “Maybe you should’ve thought about it before you had that baby, then”, because no matter how wanted the child is, THIS STILL HAPPENS. And right now, you’re talking to someone who was raped and then coerced to have the baby, by “pro-birth” people like you.
So SHUT THE FUCK UP, because you have NO idea what you’re talking about. Until you’ve been a 19 year old forced to be a single mother, or even a pregnant woman and her partner trying to figure out how they’re going to live without her income for six weeks and the only thing they can think of is to leave the baby with their 80 year old grandmother who can barely see, let alone take care of a newborn, while mom has to go back to work after ONE WEEK…
THEN you can talk. For now, you can get the hell off your high horse and actually DO something about the deplorable conditions moms face here.
Giving birth = HUGE thing, physiologically, mentally, and emotionally for everyone, including the baby. Not having to worry about how you’re going to feed that child because you have benefits, and knowing that your boss HAS to take you back = happier families and workers. Happier families and workers = better-off individuals. Happier individuals = better societies. Better societies = WE ALL WIN.
Now do you get it, miss pro-birth, or do I need to chop this into smaller words?
I do not believe that just because you’re opposed to abortion, that that makes you pro-life. In fact, I think in many cases, your morality is deeply lacking if all you want is a child born but not a child fed, not a child educated, not a child housed. And why would I think that you don’t? Because you don’t want any tax money to go there. That’s not pro-life. That’s pro-birth. We need a much broader conversation on what the morality of pro-life is.
Sister Joan Chittister, Catholic Nun (via timehasflewn)
holy shit i love this quote (via glitter-femin1sts)
I vote we stop using the term “pro-life” and change to “pro-birth”, and every time someone asks “What does that mean?”, you can explain this and the other racialized, classist, misogynist, body policing, rape culture reinforcing bullshit behind “pro-life” dogma. (via lebanesepoppyseed)
I want so badly to talk about this picture.
But when your first thought about it is “support women”, I can’t.
I can feel the words inching away from the raw wounds that even if they scar will always hurt.
Does that seem right to you?
I actively flinch from the word feminist….
Read this. It’s actually making me cry a little because of how much it hits home for me on pretty much every point.
Please. Click the link and read this. All of this. Read it. I’m guilty of being limited in how I talk about reproductive rights. After reading this, I’m going to try to do better.
Same. I need to do better when I talk about this topic and stop defaulting to “women”. Thank you for this post, OP.
I TRY TO SAY ‘PEOPLE WITH UTERUSES’ WHEN I TALK ABOUT ABORTIONS, BUT I FREQUENTLY DEFAULT TO -WOMEN- WHEN I TALK ABOUT PEOPLE DEFENDING RAPISTS. AND THATS WRONG.
THANK YOU FOR THE REMINDER. NOT ALL WOMEN HAVE UTERUSES, NOT ALL UTERUSES HAVE WOMEN AND ANYONE
CAN BE RAPED.
I definitely am guilty as charged of saying “women” or “women’s rights” some of the time and I, as a person with a uterus and such, don’t even identify that way.
This is important. It’s angry. It’s confrontational. It may make you defensive. Does it fucking MATTER whether you do all of these things or not? No. If you are in favor of reproductive rights — regardless of your cis status or lack thereof — you need to read and absorb this, because this is how society functions and this is the oppression people are actually facing and it is everyone’s problem.
Michigan’s House has passed HB 5711, a massive bill placing multiple restrictions on abortion providers, amid days of protests by activist groups and Democrat representatives.
1) Bans Abortions After 20 Weeks, Even For Rape And Incest Victims: A woman would not be able to have an abortion after 20 weeks of gestation based on the widely disputed idea that a fetus can feel pain after that point. The only exception would be if a woman’s life was in danger.
2) Transforms Doctors Into Detectives: The Republican-backed legislation would make it a crime for anyone to coerce a woman into having an abortion. Doctors will have to give their patients a questionnaire to inform them of the illegality of coercion and determine if the woman had been coerced or is the victim of domestic abuse before the abortion procedure.
3) Limits Access For Rural Women: Under the omnibus bill, doctors would have to be physically present to perform a medical abortion, thus preventing a doctor from administering abortion-inducing medication by consulting via telephone or internet. This would especially hurt rural women, who may have to travel hours to meet in-person with a specialist.
4) Requires Doctors To Purchase Costly Malpractice Insurance: If HB 5711 goes into effect, then doctors would be required to carry $1 million in liability insurance if they perform five or more abortions each month or have been subject to two more more civil suits in the past seven years, among other requirements. But the qualifications are so vague that almost all doctors who perform abortions could be required to carry the additional liability insurance at a potential cost of hundreds of thousands of dollars.
5) Regulates Clinics Out Of Existence: HB 5711 would create new regulations so that any clinic that provides six or more abortions in a month or one which advertises abortion services would have to be licensed as a “freestanding surgical outpatient facility.” That means that even if a clinic does not offer surgical abortions, it would be required to have a full surgical suite.
Now that the state House has passed the largest of the three bills, it will likely approve the two companion measures as well. Even though lawmakers rushed the bill through the House, the state Senate is not expected to vote on the measure until September. The body is composed of 26 Republicans and 12 Democrats.
This bill will limit or eliminate abortion access for everyone who can get pregnant, not just cis women. There is still time before the Senate votes on this bill in September, so please start contacting your representatives, organizing protests, and spreading information about this awful bill.
TW: Abuse, attempted reproductive coercion
I know I’ve told this story before, but my abusive ex refused to let me take birth control. I was on the pill until he found them in my purse.
I went to the Student Health Center—they were completely unhelpful, choosing to lecture me about the importance of safe sex (recommending condoms) instead of actually listening to my problem.
Then I went to Planned Parenthood. The Nurse Practitioner took one look at my fading bruises and stopped the exam. She called in the doctor. The doctor came in and simply asked me: “Are you ready to leave him?” When I denied that I was being abused, she didn’t argue with me. She just asked me what I needed. I said I need a birth control method that my boyfriend couldn’t detect. She recommended a few options and we decided on Depo.
When I told her that my boyfriend read my emails and listened to my phone messages and was known to follow me, she suggested to do the Depo injections at off hours when the clinic was normally closed. She made a note in my chart and instructed the front desk never to leave messages for me—instead, she programmed her personal cell phone number into my phone under the name “Nora”. She told me she would call me to schedule my appointments; she wouldn’t leave a message, but I should call her back when I was able to.
And that was it. No judgment. No lecture. She walked me to the door and told me to call her day or night if I needed anything. That she lived 5 blocks from campus and would come get me. That I wasn’t alone. That she just wanted me to be safe.
I never called her to come to my rescue. But I have no doubt that she would have come if I had called. She kept me on Depo for a year, giving me those monthly injections in secret, helping me prevent a desperately unwanted pregnancy.
I cannot thank Planned Parenthood enough for the work they do.
COLUMBUS, Ohio, April 12, 2012 – Seminarians from the only Pontifical College in the U.S. have an awe-inspiring approach for confronting abortion head-on. Dressed in full regalia of a black cassock, a traditional red sash, and armed with a rosary, the seminarians descend in a powerful show of force every Saturday on a local abortion facility to confront with prayer what the seminary’s rector calls the “poison of abortion.”
Father James Wehner, rector of the Josephinum in Columbus, Ohio, says he believes that seminarians need to “see visibly the forces of evil at work, and respond with an act of faith in which prayer becomes the greater force.”
“American culture is a blessing, but it is also poisoned,” he said. “The clergy, particularly priests, need to be able to confront that poison, not run away and hide from it. That means we have to confront it head-on.”
Yeah, I’m sure the women walking in sense nothing but brotherly love and empathy from these guys in their fancy cassocks, in a line to show their “powerful show of force”, “armed” with rosaries.
Who on earth thought this was a good idea?
Sigh. Maybe it’s because my priest friends were the kind who went barefoot in seminary to make a statement about poverty, but this doesn’t seem the best way to “witness” or do whatever they aimed to do.
Call me crazy, but there are other poisons more prevalent in American society (like hated, ignorance, poverty, etc) that I’m sure these future priests could be witnessing to.
As you noted Natalie, this entire article is couched in military language. Regalia, armed, confront. These are methods for an age past; we as Christians will only alienate our population if we continue in the mode of confrontation.
The purpose of this display is marking the line between the world and the Church, a statement of unity with the Pope and bishops. It may not be the best pro-life move (counseling and ultrasounds are far more immediately effective), but it is a great moment for the seminarians in formation and the strength of the Church.
The confrontational language has a great appeal to a certain segment of the population (ie, most men). It makes clear what has been lost for a generation or two, that the Church will stand against the spirit of the age. That Her priests, to the man, will fight and die for Christ (red in clerical garb is a reminder of martyrdom).
Most importantly, the spiritual worth of hundreds of rosaries prayed for a single intention, is bound to have some effect, on the seminarians, the workers at the ‘clinic’, the women entering. But these results only show in God’s own time.
I recognize all of this, but one must realize that this act is reaching no one at all. It’s a masturbatory act, if you’ll forgive the word, that pleases and speaks to only the devout and serves to alienate the Church from the people on the outside, reestablishing hardened boundaries that so many Americans have against organized religion. People will walk past this, roll their eyes and get annoyed, and move on. The clearly militaristic imagery purposefully on display here is unhelpful at best, damaging at worst.
Not only alienate those on the outside. Not all members of the church are pro-life.
Imagine if they spent every Saturday running a free child care facility, or volunteering at a women’s shelter, or spending time with kids in the foster care system. Imagine if they stood like this outside their congressional rep’s office, demanding accountability for childhood disease and poverty. Imagine if they cared about people who were already born, instead of being judgmental of people exercising their legal and medical right.
Guess 90% of the people I follow are pregnant then.
So now I can pretend Kaidan is the bby daddy? Is that how this works? :U
Lolsure. Can I move to Arizona and say I’m pregnant with the second coming of Christ for money please?
Oh, anti-choicers. :/
SOMEONE PLEASE EXPLAIN THE FUCKING STATE OF ARIZONA TO ME.
I cannot even begin to explain how much the sheer stupidy of this hurts my brain.
So then technically, at the end of the month, our bodies abort the baby for us?
What the fuck is happening South of the boarder????
UNDERSTANDING. IS NOT HAPPENING. SEND HELP.
So…a person is pregnant until their period, at which point they become legally pregnant…again…
DEAR ARIZONA, IT’S A GOOD THING YOU PROBABLY ALSO OUTLAW SEX ED.
I don’t normally reblog this kind of stuff, but I think it’s worth a reblog. <3
Aside from the (probably not popular enough to stick in a speech) fact that not just women are affected (I meant originally that trans men could need birth control and gyn services but it’s also worth a mention that Planned Parenthood provides countless services that are not just for women - including things like cancer screenings which all people should be getting!), this this this.
Rick Santorum, everybody.
I think he said it best himself:
“I find it almost remarkable for a black man to say, now we are going to decide who are people, and who are not people.”
In comparison Sarah Palin is looking pretty good
I don’t even understand how people vote for this dude.
This is Richard Hayne, President and CEO of Urban Outfitters. He’s also a supporter of Rick Santorum and donated over $13,000 to him. He’s against gay marriage and abortion.
His company pulled a pro-gay shirt back in 08, they also blatantly ripped off an Etsy designers work, featured a t-shirt for women that said “eat less” and most recently had a card with a “tranny” slur on in.
Why do you shop at this store? I imagine because you weren’t aware of these facts. Now you are, so stop shopping there.
He also owns Anthropologie and Free People.
For the longest time I justified shopping at shitty places because everywhere is pretty terrible and I’m broke (UO is normally expensive but their outlet stores are cheap as hell). But the fact is, while it’s true that it’s pretty hard to find anywhere that doesn’t employ people under terrible working conditions (at least that I can afford), there are limited numbers of places that do that AND are openly terrible people in general.
So I’ve given up UO and Anthropologie for good, just like I never shopped at American Apparel. I love their clothes, it’s really too bad, but I simply cannot - no matter how adorable the tiny queer boy behind the counter - justify giving this guy more of my money.
March 3rd, 2012
RICHMOND, Va. — More than 30 activists have been arrested for refusing to leave the Virginia Capitol steps during a protest of anti-abortion legislation.
Virginia Capitol Police Capt. Raymond Goodloesays 31 protesters were arrested Saturday. The demonstrators were some of an estimated 500 people who had gathered to protest legislation like a bill that passed the General Assembly earlier in the week that requires an ultrasound before an abortion.
The Richmond Times-Dispatch reports (http://bit.ly/ye99lx) that police with plastic shields held demonstrators at bay while armed officers arrested protesters, who sat on the steps with locked arms.
Some moving and terrifying imagery.
This makes me so fucking angry. RIOT GEAR? I don’t care if they’re not allowed to be on the steps: you don’t need this level of force or intimidation.
I wonder if anyone from my old college was there. We tended to be a pretty activist bunch, and Richmond isn’t toooo far for a handful to drive.
- Woman: Can I have birth control?
- Government: No.
- Woman: I got pregnant because I didn't have birth control and I don't want the fetus. Can I have an abortion?
- Government: No.
- Woman: I gave birth to my child but since I wasn't expecting it, I can't afford daycare. Can I have help paying for it?
- Government: No.